Oh How We Exaggerate our Problems!

Oh How We Exaggerate our Problems!

By Desmond Yeoh SC

Ceramic Products

If we rate our problems from one to ten with the rating of one representing a fleeting irritation to ten being a major catastrophe, most of our problems would probably fall below five. If we have not faced any problems that can be rated above five, then our life should have felt heavenly; but did it feel that way? Most likely the answer is no. Our reactions would be as if those problems were highly rated ones. We tend to amplify the difficulties we face and overreact; often taking actions that we later regret.

It is useful to look back at the problems that brought us heartaches, say five years ago, and see how we feel about those problems now. In some cases, we would even be thankful that those problems occurred because they laid the foundation for some benefits we are now enjoying. If five years ago, we had a crystal ball to see where we are now, would those problems appear as huge? Probably not. This is a useful exercise because we could look at our current problems in a new perspective. In five years, we probably would not remember most of those difficulties!

Understanding this human tendency to overstress problems is the first step towards building up our ability to let go of our day to day problems. It helps us see the worthless thoughts that arise when we are faced with problems. These thoughts unnecessarily stir our emotions and drain us of precious energy. If we are able to see them as over reactive or excessive compared to the size of the problem, we could let go of those thoughts instead of allowing them to toss us around like an unmanned boat in a turbulent ocean.

Another way to develop the natural habit of letting go is to understand the huge personal cost of not letting go. If we hold on to past anger and hate, we are only hurting ourselves. If we allow every little problem to arouse anger within us, then we will be perpetually angry. When there is anger, there cannot be inner peace.

So, the next time disturbing thoughts arise, we can just tell ourselves to let go. If we truly let go, we will notice those thoughts losing power and there is a sense of serenity; like the calm after a thunderstorm. There is silence. After experiencing that inner serenity, we will truly understand the cost of grasping at those thoughts. When we allow the disturbing thoughts to drive our emotions, we are effectively clinging to them and allowing them access to our energy reservoir. But when we tell ourselves to let go, we cut-off the energy supply and the turbulence ceases naturally. The more often we do this, the easier it becomes. Once we have tasted the tranquillity of letting go (immediately after the upheaval caused by the disturbing thoughts), we are able to see the enormous sacrifice we are making every time we entertain our negative thoughts; which are often excessive. They are useless because they do not contribute to our well-being in any way but only add to our pain.